Level Sixty
and a new year ahead
I’ll be turning sixty next year. My five-year-old grandson knows I’m fifty-nine, and he also loves numbers and math. He enjoys playing video games and advancing to new levels. I think I’ll begin referring to my next birthday as a new level. Level sixty sounds pretty good to me. Somehow, it feels younger than sixty years old.
There are times I feel my physical age, but it’s pretty rare. I’m healthy, happy, and feel at peace in my body. It isn’t that I don’t have challenges, but I meet them differently now. Grey hair means you have hopefully learned a few things. Most of them the hard way. I might go to sleep and sometimes feel pain in my left hip. I may glisten at the most inconvenient times. I work hard to keep the grey hairs in my head and hate seeing them go down the drain or up into the vacuum.
Even at my age, I still have trouble crying sometimes. It’s been this way for a few years. Have you ever seen the movie The Holiday? One of the leading characters experiences a traumatic event and can’t shed any tears over it. I can relate. It was that way for me for a long time. Even though I wanted the floodgates to open wide, they stayed shut. Once I worked through a few things in my life and finally cried abundantly, it felt like I had fewer tears left to shed. Now, on some days, the tears are still in short supply, and on other days, they come easily.
Healing from trauma and abuse is reaching a new level. But it is not easy.
I, like everyone, have moments of overwhelm when I struggle to hold back the tears. But I’ve learned how to manage my stress better and rediscovered the healing that comes from crying in the shower or as you fall asleep. That works for me to feel better. Sometimes I’m just all talked-out, and the only thing that helps is a good cry. Another way I manage stress and overwhelm is by taking care of myself. I prioritize healthy eating, exercise, relaxation techniques, and getting enough sleep. However, I don’t manage everything perfectly. Gosh, no. I still have those days when the tears leak out at the most inopportune times.
I’m still learning. I’m growing. I’m human.
