I Really Hate This

and I bet you do, too

I sometimes don’t know what I want.

I often feel like I don’t know anything.

Clarity is fickle. You pray for insight, but once you get an answer, what do you do if you don’t like it? Or is it that I got what I asked for - clarity - but don’t like what I see?

I need courage, patience, and understanding.

I need faith when doubt creeps in.

I need comfort from the Holy Spirit when I feel like I’m drowning in the water I was just walking on.

I pray over each day’s plans and then ask God’s help when those plans change. “Help me be okay with it,” has poured from my mouth a million times. Often, frustration accompanies those words, and I wonder why I even bothered to plan.

Feel me?

I know you do.

This is the way it goes for us all.

We pray for eyes to see, ears to hear, and hands to do the things.

But people, seasons, and abilities change. Oh, how I hate that word - change.

I want to do All. The. Things. I want clarity to hurry things up so I can stay on my timeline and do what I want. How’s that for honesty? I want what I want. Sometimes.

Clarity isn’t the only fickle thing.

This is the way it goes for us all.