I Need Something To Grow

Photo of marigolds by Kim

In recent weeks, my life has been completely disrupted. I didn’t ask for it, and it’s totally unwanted. It isn’t that life was perfect before. But I’ve worked very hard over the past year to create a more peaceful, healthy life for myself and my husband. I have made massive progress in my healing, and now I’m struggling through each day with extra responsibilities, unanswered questions, a bit of worry and fear that I’m trying my best to entrust to Jesus, and new routines. It has been a lot for me, but it is even more so for my sweet husband.

A few weeks before this life change, I had hoped to grow marigolds from my mother’s dried seeds. I had carried those seeds around for years, saving them, cherishing what I hoped they would grow into one day. Well, I waited too long to plant, and nothing grew from the dead seeds. I wrote more about waiting too long here.

So, after getting good soil, new marigold seeds, adding lots of sunshine and water, and even some prayer, I finally saw a few green leaves poking through the pitch-black soil. I planted two pots on my patio that I see first thing in the morning and each time I come and go from my home. I’m sad, of course; these flowers aren’t growing from my mother’s garden. But one is growing; the other shows no signs of life. Sounds a lot like my current reality.