Fear Dies In The Doing
When you walk through challenging, painful situations in life, it allows you to offer more comfort, wisdom, and help to someone enduring the same challenge. I hadn’t asked for the difficult things I endured. No one would. However, I believe God allows things into our lives not only to refine us and to glorify Himself, but also that one day we might be a source of comfort, encouragement, and assistance to others.
I could write about so many pain points in my life. One day, I might write about them all. Today is not that day. Today is the day I let you know I’ve written about one pain point in my life and the life of my family - the legalistic church and our escape from it. This recovery is the basis of my soon-to-be-published book. I have a lot to say. To get your free digital copy upon publication, you can upgrade to a Founding Member subscription below.
Is escaping legalism the worst situation I’ve ever endured? No. But it ranks among the top. Being judged by those who are supposed to love and care for you is deeply painful, destroys your ability to trust others, and has you doubting things about the faithfulness of God. God is not pleased that we suffered this church abuse and still struggle as we continue to heal. Yet, He allowed it. But God doesn’t sit by and turn a blind eye to anything that happens to us. He has a plan and purpose for it all. If not, then what would be the point?
One of the worst things in life is suffering and feeling like there is no point in it.
In the middle of my recovery from church legalism, I’m reminded of all the blessings in my life. Most of all, I’m blessed to have the gift of grace, and my faith is the most important thing in my life. When we look at each day as the gift it is, we can count our many blessings and see how gracious God truly is to us.
I recently started keeping a gratitude journal, and it has become one of my favorite daily practices. Making time at the end of each day to recall all the day’s blessings is worthwhile. It focuses my attention on Jesus and all He has done for me, and it turns my heart toward gratitude and away from the desire for more.
We all have blessings, and we all want things that we can’t have. Things that are not meant for us, or are not good for us, or things that will cause us pain in the future. But we think we know best, and we want what we want. Paying attention to the good things in my life has also helped me fade the more painful memories that legalists have caused me and my family. It helps progress my healing. I’m not denying the pain I’m feeling, but I am choosing to focus on how God is working in my life and all He is blessing me with despite the pain.
I am a goal-driven person and have much I’d like to accomplish in this life. I have words to write, songs to sing, hugs to share, and encouragement to offer. I have dreams, goals, and desires, but I want to be about His will for my life. I know my purpose is to glorify God in all these things, and the gifts He has given me are growing. Hard, for sure. Painful, sometimes. Fear-inducing, yes, but courage-growing, absolutely. I count it all good.
God is good and kind, and His will is the most merciful.
But some days that truth is harder to accept. When I don’t understand what is happening around me, I can too easily slip into worrying about it all. The tears flow more easily. Especially when thinking of loved ones who are enslaved by legalism and believe I am the one who is misled.
I’m still learning the hard way to face life’s challenges head-on, knowing I’m wasting time and energy on worry, doubt, and fear that would be far better spent on ministry. The sanctifying life of a Christian is not for the faint of heart. If you are a Christian, your entire life is a ministry. Every person you meet, conversation you have, smile you share, and dollar you spend can glorify God. Do we always get those things right? Of course not.
Keeping my gratitude journal has helped me recognize my many daily blessings, right in the middle of the messy challenges. It proves to me that God is in control of my entire life, down to the smallest detail, regardless of what I do or don’t do each day.
I can go back and read the words I wrote, and there’s no escaping the fact that God is merciful to me. He is kind and loving, and I don’t deserve any of it. That is true for us all. But by keeping our eyes on Jesus and His will for our lives, knowing there is a purpose in it all, the fear dies because you understand what He has asked you to do.
Fear dies in the doing.
Fear dies in the gratitude.
Fear dies in remembering the good.
